so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
