Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
