I think my fart just growled at me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
