i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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