I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
