Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
