i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
