i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
