He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
