I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just high enough for therapy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
