I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
