Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
