Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
