The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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