how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
