Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
