Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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