Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
