I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
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The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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