I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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