This girl is more easily done than said...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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