Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
