I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
