Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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