That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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