I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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