so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
