Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just google imaged poop.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
