I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You need Xanax blowdarts
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
