you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
