I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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