new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
