Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
