We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Sacagawea was the original milf.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
