now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
