so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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