I cockslap morals
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
