we have officially lost it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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