What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
