Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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