i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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