I will die if light touches me.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
