No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
