I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
