my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
