I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
