Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
