'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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