What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
