sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
