You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
