If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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