i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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