i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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