i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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