i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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