I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
