No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
