Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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