after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
50% drunk capacity currently
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
