After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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