New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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