apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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