Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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