I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
