I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
